| Jul. 30th, 2011 @ 05:43 am I've Had The Meth Of Life, But Now I'll Have The Best Of Life! |
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Barack O'Tom-a Voters!
It is I, the Tommy Gun.
I've decided to write to you all, as I recently found the password to my livejournal (it was tattooed on a neighbor's missing child), and also I just remembered what a computer is. I was so happy I cried. But, to be fair, at the time, I was receiving a very bromantic hug from Dr. Drew.
Things are going well for the Size King: I've been sober now since last year, and, according to IMDB, I appear to be doing a lot of things. Unfortunately, my lawyer Charlie Sheen hasn't returned my calls in a while, but occasionally he will drive by my house, shooting six-guns, the trunk of his car hemorrhaging Xango and women's underwear.
My agent (the actor Nicholas Cage) tells me that I just got a gig on television's Hawaii Five-O! Which is exciting both because it's work, and also because I will be traveling through time, to the era in which that show was actually on. I've never seen the show, but I'm pretty sure it's set in Florida. "Book 'em, Don Johnson!"
Oh, and the Poet Nick Moore was recently interviewed on a talk and music show in Bloomington, Indiana. Listen below! I hear he is sober now too. But he is reported to be out of his mind on homelessness, gluttony, and rampant "petting" of "the penguin".
Enjoy.
--Tom |
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